shes about as inviting as chlamydia
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
