from now on my penis is your penis
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Damn victory sex feels great
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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