is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize