Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
