So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
