woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
