somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
