On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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