So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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