You really coming over, don't trick.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
