pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
