We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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