Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
