Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
