I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am naked and annoyed.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize