look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
