Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
