i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
