woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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