is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
