You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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