I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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