He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize