Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
