I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
