The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
