so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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