the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
