Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
