Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
