go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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