I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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