All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
