i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
