Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
