FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize