Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
