Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
