hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
