What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I cannot find my penis.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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