sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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