Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
