Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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