I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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