Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
