well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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