Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
