sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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