kristin has been a bad kristin
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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