In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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