We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize