there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
