Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
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