If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize