its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
