I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I didn't notice because vodka
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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