I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
