apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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